No More McDojo, Boxing for the Kid

[Shadow]

My son's TKD contract finally ran out. I can't wait to get him started at this boxing gym. He been at it for a year now, he's a blue belt and still can't fight. I figure boxing will be him more prepare to street fight years before TKD. I'm aware of boxing limitations, but I think its a great starting point. Name a MA you can't incorperate boxing into easily!

[Kensei]

You have to remember that just because he was at a "kiddy day care" dojo that not all clubs will be the same. I would also look to your son, does he have the mentality to defend himself. Alot of kids dont and you need a special kind of instructor. I have seen kids get drilled on how to defend themselves and still be inept because they dont have it in them with out special training.

Other than that you picked a good one, but I would sign him up for kick boxing of some sort so he has four weapons and not one. Boxing is a good start, but it should be seen as a start.

[Shadow]

Can you elaborate on what you mean by mental defense?

I have mixed feelings about it being a start. I can't argue on the level that he is just starting and anything is a start at this point, but that art of boxing being only a starting point...well that is questionable. Boxing has "alot" of element that I believe even most martial artist are unaware of. With that being said I believe it to be an art. I can't say it don't come up short bigtime in the kick department, but I seen it compensate. Then again, that's a big, big gap. Almost every style has its flaws. For example, TKD is great for outfighting, inside they really, really tend to suck. I think it takes a few years on the average for is to become street worthy. In short, I agree and disagree at the same time about equally, if that make any sense at all. (The presentation above is perhaps one sided, because I think it's the one often less noticed or taken.)

This leads to the imfamous MA debate, is boxing a MA? What's your take?

[qwerty]

Too me boxing is definately MA!

[Kensei]

Can you elaborate on what you mean by mental defense?

The best way for me to illustrate it is this...When I was in the army I had this line Sgt. (fire line) who would teach us to take appart our C1 and break it down, clean it, put it together, shoot it and hell even hit a target once and a while But he had us sit down one day with our weapons and he had a chat with us. "You know how to clean it, you can shoot it, hell you can fuck it if you want...but can you kill with it?" The point is, other than Sgt. Frennette was a sick MOFO is that you can train your whole life, get fantastic and even get into a ring with rules and show you have great tallent, but can you pull the triggger for real. I have had two times in my life were I actually was in a situation were I had to possibly take a life! I am not happy that this happened because it was hard and I was sick for weeks after, but I am glad that in that situation I did what I was trained to do. Not every one can and that is fine, I respect both ways. But assuming that a person who is tossed into a martial art, hell any martial art, could use it in a real fight is a stretch. It is the person in the style, not the other way around.

I have mixed feelings about it being a start. I can't argue on the level that he is just starting and anything is a start at this point, but that art of boxing being only a starting point...well that is questionable. Boxing has "alot" of element that I believe even most martial artist are unaware of. With that being said I believe it to be an art. I can't say it don't come up short bigtime in the kick department, but I seen it compensate. Then again, that's a big, big gap. Almost every style has its flaws. For example, TKD is great for outfighting, inside they really, really tend to suck. I think it takes a few years on the average for is to become street worthy. In short, I agree and disagree at the same time about equally, if that make any sense at all. (The presentation above is perhaps one sided, because I think it's the one often less noticed or taken.)

All martial arts have good andbad points. Dont get me wrong, I have takend Karate, Judo, Aikido, TKD, JKD, Kung fu, BJJ, Sombo and a hughe amount of others. They all had great parts, and they all had bad parts. Keep that in mind when you are setting up your kid in a system. Remember that they all have good and bad. and most importantly they have to be a fun match for your kid. If he does not have fun he wont stick!

This leads to the imfamous MA debate, is boxing a MA? What's your take?

Yes it is a martial art! It is a art for military/fighting . That is just my take on it, but it is a martial art to me.

[Shadow]

I can't argue with the first paragraph. You never know how a person will react. However, at least want to give him the confidence to know he should be able to defend himself from the arrive person, knowing there is always someone out there better. I don't expect a great MA, I be happy with a decent fighter. If he goes farther, all the better.

He loved the TKD, and from what he told me about his first class, I think he will like this one just as much. I see your point about the Sgt.'s gun training, however, the kids only 11. I hopefully, he isn't exposed such circumstances, at the least, at least not at this early age; or, was the point to show he could have the skill but not know how to use it (I'm aware of the big difference of gloves and fists punching, and how one can punch with gloves one way and not get hurt, but punch the same way without them and whammo a broken hand). Either way, I will remain a factor is his training. I have just been taking the back burner training route. All good points, thanks !

[Kensei]

No problem. I really hope for three things to come out of this because you seem like a good dad. One is that your kid has a great time training and keeps in shape. I would say get into it with him if you can, I wish I could train with my daughter, but for now she comes and watches me when she can. Two, your son NEVER has to find out what it is like to hit someone or have to defend themselves and three is that your son stays with it and brings the arts of boxing or what ever he is doing to the masses. It is a good thing, and I get the feeling you are a good parent. best wishes....

[Shadow]

Thanks Kensei! We were messing around today. He is finally remembering to keep the other-hand guard up when throwing punches. His punches actually hurt (if only a level 1 or 2), before it was zero pain. I see an improvement in almost everything. It kind of pisses me off, that I couldn't teach him to do this stuff well enough, but it eased the pain when he came home and told me his instructor asked, "how do you know all this stuff already?"

I have to pick up some focus mitts. He doesn't have a problem going full force to the body, but has great discomfort when hitting me in the face-to an extreme. What do you think about that? I tell him, when were fooling around, I don't want to be hit in the face, but in kiddy sparring or just letting him hit me, I told him it's okay. He still doesn't like it. Should I push the issue and just buy some focus mitts and continue on the home bag? Has any ever come across this problem? Most likely I should ease into it if at all, or use a cousin of equal size. I want to take the hits because he's not even close to being ready to spar.

[Kensei]

Not wanting to hit you in the face is natural, and a good thing. While you want him to learn to drill you in the face at some point for self defence...well someone else I hope you also want him to know it hurts so he does not become a bully. I think you are on the right track. Get him good boxing gloves, bag gloves, a heavy bag or ground bag, hand pads and start teaching him to hit hard with the body, not the arm.

You will have to remember that while he might end upwith a sudden fast rise in skill once and a while, you will see lots of plateus. Remember to let him have fun. Sparring will come and once he is better at boxing dont let him stop working the skills even if he picks a second martial art to do to become more well rounded. Boxing skills are great to have and easy to lose!

[Shadow]

On the later, it's funny you should say that for me, I really don't have to practice punches. My problem has always be kick maintenance (granted hand speed might drop a bit, but if not doing it for a while I can regain it in a week or two; the legs that another story).

As for the rest, all sounds like great advice. I just order a pair of focus mitts a few days ago, and we have a powerwave water/sand bag. You should I tackle the child-short attention span, when my patiences limited when he playing around and teaching him something I that very seriously?

P.S. On a side note, he did want to leave class today.

[Kensei]

The only thing I can say is MAKE IT FUN. that is all. Dont get frustrated at all, it will make the whole thing work! IF he wants to do something different move along. Add to the fun and DO NOT MAKE IT WORK. If he does not like punching the mits or the heavy bag move along to something else and if he wants to quite boxing then you move into play fighting or something else. If he wants to leave class it is because he is not comfortable. That is fine, you have to wait it out and work with them.

After probably 20 years of teaching and a good lot of that with kids, remembering to make it fun is the most important thing. I also would suggest taking up wrestling/Judo like stuff with him. kids are not set up to punch and kick but tackling Dad is a bit more natural and it works the whole body.

Most important for a Dad that is teaching his kid is make it fun. If you are are going to get all serious with him and push him to be better than you should just stop! Hire someone to teach your kid, dont take it up yourself. Make it fun or stop it all together! Also dont push him to be the next Tyson/Ali..add boxer here! push him to have fun and find out if this is for him. Even if it is not for him you can still make it fun! Be his parent first, friend next and teacher/sparring partner/coach a DISTANT third! and at the end of it all...give him a hug and tell him how good he is doing!

But that is just my limited 20 years speacking!

[Shadow]

I couldn't deal w'ith it, that's why he's in boxing, but I refuse to totally leave it up to someone else. I can try more of the make it fun thing, but having him quite is untoleriable (especially with the dow I forked out). He needs to stick with things. I know each kids different, some can find there own groove, some need a nug. He loves punching on the bag at home and the bag and focus mitt training at te gym. So, I guess we'll stick to that for now. Though, I don't think all of its in my nature, but all good advice...gotta work with what I got.

P.S. You know, I just thought of something, when I work with other kids I don't have a problem just my own, maybe its because I expect more who knows. I taught a few kids before back in my Karate days, and taught voluteer art at the locale school, I never had this problem. It could be he so playful and puts so little in it when I tell him to show me something. Oh well, we'll get through it! Suddenly I feel like I'm in "Mulan," and "singing I'll make a man out of you." Time to get back to work.

[Kensei]

No idea waht "mulan" is but what ever floats your boat.

One more thing. Watch him in class with his instructor...is he different. Might be that working with a parrent is just not serious time for him.

[Shadow]

Oh come on, don't tell me you haven't seen Disnesy's "Mulan." It's one of the song there; I meant it as a joke lol.

Unfortunitely, I wife take him during the weekdays. I'm lucky if I get a video clip of him practicing. I plan to take him this weekend, however. There will not be an instructor at that time. '

Perhaps, your right with the parent play time thing, we'll see!

On a side note I had a, "who are you and what have you done with my son momemt:"
I tried to hide my smile, but when he asked if he could go outside to exercise, adding it will improve his boxing, I could hardly contain it. That's momumental for my son, he doesn't like to exercise at all; he'll do almost whatever it takes to elude anything he conceeds as exercise.

[Kensei]

On a side note I had a, "who are you and what have you done with my son momemt:"
I tried to hide my smile, but when he asked if he could go outside to exercise, adding it will improve his boxing, I could hardly contain it. That's momumental for my son, he doesn't like to exercise at all; he'll do almost whatever it takes to elude anything he conceeds as exercise.

Every once and a while they can shock you Neh?

That is great, maybe the worm has turned...now the real trick is running between helping him-pushing him a bit-making it fun- and letting it become "His thing". That is the real ballance trick! good luck to you.